Monday, August 15, 2011

Dear "Unknown",

This is the FIRST and ONLY time I shall ever write a post such as this. When I started this blog, it was designed to be my "safe place" to vent any and all feelings that I was experiencing as I navigated through Boe's loss, NO MATTER HOW UGLY, etc. This blog serves as a sounding board for me. It helps me to organize my thoughts and sort through them, sometimes BEFORE I speak to my husband or others about them. I guess, in a way, this blog helps me to blow off steam and take the angry edge off of my feelings so that when I do speak to the individuals (who I am always very careful not to name) in question, I can be clear, focused and kind when I impart my feelings.

Well, yesterday, my sanctuary was violated. Someone, titling themselves simple as "Unknown", posted a comment to my post that was very distressing, hurtful and disappointing to me. I am not going to give this person's comment too much energy because I think the fact that they refuse to identify who they are speaks volumes about their character (or lack thereof, should I say?).

Apparently, "Unknown" feels that Adam and I have not returned any of their efforts to correspond with us in the months since Boe's passing. Adam and I both find this very odd, as we try very hard to return all calls, texts, etc... even if it takes a few days for us to do so. "Unknown" also alludes to the fact that people do not bring up Boe or his passing because they don't want to go "there" and upset me. Perhaps "Unknown" needs to reread a few paragraphs of my entry, but I specifically say that IT WILL ALWAYS BE SAD. The mention of Boe's name will always strike a chord with me, IT |DOES NOT MEAN THAT I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM. I go on to say that not mentioning him hurts worse than talking about him.

"Unknown" purports to love me and my family and says they just want "to love on" my family. If that was the case "Unknown" would have let their name be known so that Adam and I might have the opportunity to take them up on offers of help and support if they are being put out there. "Unknown" 's parting words are "Keep your head held high".

I DO keep my head held high. I try to live everyday of my life being a kind and compassionate mother, wife and friend. I know there are times when I fall short in any or all of these categories, those are opportunities to grow and learn. I am a person who believes very strongly in justice and fairness and I try to love my life in this way as well.

What is not just or fair is that "Unknown" felt that is was OK to take my place of refuge and sanctuary and turn it in to a platform for their hurt feelings and grievances toward me and Adam. This is MY place, MY feelings, MY journey for BOE. I will not allow people who do not have the strength to address me personally to taint my place for Boe.

So, Unknown, whoever you may be. If you have an issue with me or my husband, clearly you know how to get in contact with us since you claim to have tried on numerous occasions in the last 16 months. Please, contact us personally, and we WILL get back to you. My blog about my son is not your place to tell me how pissed off you are at me because you feel that I have failed you during my grief.

And that's all I have to say about that.

1 comment:

  1. You tell 'em!! I love that you're confronting this coward who can't be bothered to actually contact you outside of cyberspace. xo