When a loved one dies, or anything traumatic happens, people want to be of service. They want to say the right thing, do the right thing, and generally just be there for you in anyway they can. Some situations are just too "taboo" or profound to express verbally, these are the times people insert their feet in their mouths and say the wrong thing. A word to the wise, a simple "I am so sorry" will most likely suffice. Say anything else, and run the risk of having your foot inserted into some other orifice. AWKWARD!! The following are some "gems" that have been shared with me and others who have experienced the same loss. They may seem perfectly harmless, but trust me, these simple words, meant to soothe and comfort can be exactly the WRONG thing to say.
1. Everything happens for a reason...
What I really want to say: Really? What reason could God possibly have for wanting my little boy? But, then again, I guess that explains the "reason" for your stupidity.
2. God has a plan...
What I really want to say: Well, I wish He'd let me know when He "plans" to send the shitstorm He just parked right over my house to its next location.
3. Can you imagine how awful it would have been if you had only been pregnant with one?
What I really want to say: No, I can't BUT if I have 2 arms and lose one does that make the loss of the one any less tragic or painful? After, all I've got a "spare", right?
4. It's not like you wanted 3 anyway, right?
What I really want to say: It's not like I wanted 3 ALL AT ONCE, but it is what it is, and I would NOT trade my 3 boys for anything in the world!!!
5. I had a horse once and she gave birth to a stillborn colt, so I TOTALLY know how you feel.
That one was for you, Angie!
6. Grieving couple to priest upon the loss of their baby girl: Why? Why did this happen? Why is she gone? WHY?
Priest's response: I think instead of asking why, we should say, why not?
7. Upon seeing my boys, Adler and Cameron, "Ooohhhh! They MUST be twins!!"
Why MUST they be twins? Because you see 2 of them? My very wise geometry teacher always taught me that to ASSUME makes and Ass out of you and me. In this case, it's just you, ma'am.
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